wrong thing to do
I’m not going to lie. I’m going to be honest with myself. As much as possible.
I think I have developed self-confidence issues with my artwork.
It’s not that I don’t like my work. It’s not that I don’t have ideas.
It’s just that I keep convincing myself that my skills aren’t up to snuff. That I can’t draw as well as certain people. That I’m not pro. So the ideas that I have in my head, I keep fooling myself into thinking: “It’s best not to waste such good ideas now. If you waste them now, you might not be able to use them later. You might not have the incentive to go back and revise it later. You should save them for much much later when you can draw better. For now, just focus on drawing better.”
But I know that that’s the wrong thing to do.
Why???
I’m not thinking along the lines of “Having no self-confidence in your own work is wrong.”
Actually, it’s just very frustrating to me to live like this. T-T
Every idea I get, pretty much feels like a good idea or something that has the potential to be a good idea.
And I’m not going to draw nor feel like drawing something that is a bad idea.
And I’m not going to be able to draw anything if I have “no ideas”.
So unconsciously, without being aware of it, my mind’s way of thinking, has rendered me unable to draw.
The frustrations I have when I draw a picture. I don’t think it’s because I personally think I draw badly (even though I keep constantly comparing myself to professionals and thinking I’m not as good as them. I don’t necessarily think I draw “badly”.) I think the frustration I have with my drawings is that I’m not drawing what I really “want” to draw.
Even as I write this, I’m still nervous in taking that step in the direction that I really want to take.
It’s frustrating and nauseating. TTATT )
How did I end up like this anyway~. Now that I think of it, I didn’t start caring much about my art compared to others until I started putting stuff up on the internet and caring about how many views and favorites I got on my pictures.
Maybe a part of me is just afraid that if I do my best, like really do my best, that I would find out I’m not as good as I thought I was. Or that my ideas meant nothing much.
Even if that were to happen, I know that I shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of that. Everyone has their own opinions. And what I like best is what I like best. Even if people disapprove of it or think it’s nothing much; it’s not going to change me from thinking that this is good and this is bad or that I like this and I don’t like that.
So… in the end, there’s absolutely no benefit in holding yourself back or doing something like “saving ideas”. You will never know how far you can go if you hold yourself back. And you will never improve if you don’t reach your limit and attempt to go beyond that limit.
That’s the true method to going pro with your artwork.
So, I just felt this morning, that for myself at least, I had to write this. I definitely had to write this. And I just hope that I will listen to this part of myself that wants to push farther with my artwork and doesn’t want to hold back anymore. It’s a waste. A real waste to think that way.
If you have an idea, and it doesn’t come out that well, you CAN redo it again in the future if you want to.
No one is going to tell you “You really screwed up on this, you shouldn’t do it over again.” No one is going to tell you “It’s been done already, come up with something else.” Remaking a work that you’ve done already and remaking a work someone else has done already are two different things. LOL.
So don’t be afraid of failure.
And most importantly, don’t “expect” failure. Because if you keep thinking “This isn’t gonna work out.” then just as you guessed, it’s not. You don’t have to fool yourself into thinking that it is gonna work out either.
Point is, you shouldn’t draw just because it will work or won’t work. You just draw because that’s what you thought of.
Drawing is making your imagination come to life.
So when you draw, instead of thinking “Will this get a lot of views?” “Will this be a success?” “Will this fail?” “Maybe people won’t like it.” “I should clean up my lines more since it might get more views.” “I should add more details so it can attract more attention.”, etc.
You should just forget about all that and focus on one thing..
Bringing your imagination into existence.
Not making it just be a thought anymore.
But making it be something that actually exists. In real life.
Something that everyone else can see or even touch or communicate with.
Those thoughts are the ONLY thoughts you should have when drawing. The ONLY ones. All the other thoughts you have are just “NOISE”. Noise that you need to plug your ears and shut your mind away from.
When you can bring a character or a scene or a picture that you’ve imagined to life on your canvas (whether it be traditional paper, digital paper, or something else) that will be the day that you “succeed”. That is “success”.
So, to me, and to anyone else who may have fallen into a similar situation and can’t seem to get themselves out of it, I hope me writing this in an attempt to be as honest as I possibly can with my feelings towards myself; will be able to help us all to move forward.
And one last thing is, don’t force yourself to draw either.
Remember that drawing is all about putting your imagination on the paper.
People tend to forget that drawing is similar to writing (including myself).
You can’t “draw” without an “image” or “thought” in your head.
The same way you can’t “write” without having something to “say”. The words and sentences have to be in your mind first before you can write it.
If you attempt to write without having anything you want to say.
Or you attempt to draw without having an image you want to project from your thoughts.
Then the result will end up being jibberish (complete and utter nonsense) and “of course” you’ll be unsatisfied with that.
So.. Just wait for that idea, that spark to come to you and draw it. Don’t do what I did, telling yourself to “wait”. When you have an idea you draw it. You don’t hold yourself back. If you do, you’ll find yourself stuck in a very frustrating and nauseating self-made art block.
So get some confidence and just do it. Drawing is fun. Do it because it’s fun. All other thoughts, please throw them away.
And now I’m gonna eat breakfast because I just woke up. LOL
